LoH/story/Hat's All, Folks!

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Prev: << Welcome to the Jungle Storyline: Hat's All, Folks! Next: Candy Inside Razor Blades >>
Beginning of Issue
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Endure|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Moxie: Thank heavens you are here.

We need every able body. There are buildings burning everywhere.

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Endure|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Moxie: Put out as many fires as you can...

And put down whoever is behind this mayhem!

It's No Slouch[edit]

Beginning of Area: It's No Slouch
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Masked Thugs|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Moxie: Remember that lesson I taught you about striking a cinder block?

Keep that fresh in your mind if you see any looters!

Beginning of Fight: Masked Thugs
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Masked Thugs|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Masked Thug: I'm telling you, while everyone is playing fireman the city is ripe for the ...

...I can never catch a break, can I?

Beginning of Fight: Kindlings (1)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Mixology|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Kindling: Who doesn't like a nice cocktail at a BBQ?
Beginning of Fight: Kindlings (2)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Splash Damage (236)|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Kindling: I really love what I have done with this place!
Beginning of Fight: Arsonists
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Kindling|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Arsonist: So this is the teacher's pet who has been ruining all our work!
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Kindling|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Arsonist: Guess we are gonna have to start all over again!

Bald Arsonist: Once we are done taking care of you!

Ushanka, I Thank Ya'[edit]

Beginning of Fight: Sunderlings
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Sunderlings|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Sunderling: Don't you have fires that need putting out? Cuz I know there are banks that need robbing.
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Sunderlings|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Sunderling: And it would save us a lot of time if we could get on with that...

Instead of hanging around here kicking your butt!

Beginning of Fight: Kindlings
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Black Smoke|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Kindling: *cough*cough*cough*
Beginning of Fight: Arsonists (1)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Kindling|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Arsonist: You know that we are not going to run out of gasoline anytime soon...

Bald Arsonist: How long can you keep going?

Beginning of Fight: Arsonists (2)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Kindling|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Female Arsonist: Psss! I am actually running a little low on gasoline.

Bald Arsonist: Let's take care of him this time so the boss doesn't have to.

Beginning of Fight: Firerazer
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Firerazer|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Firerazer: So you are the squirt that has been putting out my fires.

We know you can handle my henchmen...

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Firerazer|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Firerazer: Now let's see how you fare against The Fire Razer!

They Tuque It[edit]

Beginning of Fight: Sunderlings (1)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Sunderlings|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Sunderling: Someone can't take a hint...

Other Sunderling: ...or a beating!

Beginning of Fight: Arsonists
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Kindling|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Female Arsonist: We just want to make some pretty fires...

Arsonist: What's so wrong with that?

Beginning of Fight: Sunderlings (2)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Sunderlings|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Sunderling: Aren't these emergent types supposed to be busy putting out fire?

Other Sunderling: The boss ain't gonna be happy.

Beginning of Fight: Sunder
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/What We Need Is a Distraction|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Sunder: There are too many Phaeton students running around today...

I guess Fire Razer could not distract all of you.

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/What We Need Is a Distraction|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Sunder: Sunder can rip through a bank vault with these bare hands.

What do you think I will do to you?

Sugary Balaclava[edit]

Beginning of Area: Sugary Balaclava
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Finishing Blow|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Moxie: It looks like we have finally made a dent in this mess.

We are trying to apprehend IxNay... a deadly criminal mastermind.

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/H____|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Moxie: He was once The Abyss' most promising acolyte.

Nobody knows why he turned to a life of crime.

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Finishing Blow|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Moxie: He lives in total sensory deprivation and has not uttered a word since leaving the school.

So we may never know what happened.

Beginning of Fight: Masked Thugs (1)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Masked Thugs|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Masked Thug: You have made a lot of powerful enemies today!
Beginning of Fight: Masked Thugs (2)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Masked Thugs|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Masked Thug: There is a sweet bonus for anyone who brings you down today.
Beginning of Fight: Masked Thugs (3)
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Masked Thugs|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Masked Thug: I have no interest in losing out on another bonus to IxNay!
Beginning of Fight: Ixnay
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/IxNay|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Ixnay: ...

Oh My Cordobes![edit]

Beginning of Fight: Crime Blotter
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Rise Up|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Crime Blotter: You just made the front page of The Crime Blotter.
End of Fight: Crime Blotter
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/The Crime Blotter|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Crime Blotter: I guess I had a bad lead, sorry.

I should have recognized you as a member of The Phaeton Project.

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/The Crime Blotter|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Crime Blotter: I am the Crime Blotter. I have been patrolling Guttertown since my days with The Upstarts.

And I can tell you that IxNay is not to the top of the food chain.

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Puppet Master|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Crime Blotter: Still chasing down leads but there is someone new running things around here.

Someone they call The Hat!

Beginning of Fight: Firerazer
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Firerazer|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Firerazer: You are not fighting henchmen anymore.

Strictly end bosses from here on out!

Beginning of Fight: Sunder
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Sunder|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Sunder: You have cost me a lot of cash today!

I am going to get my money's worth out of the beating you have coming to you!

Beginning of Fight: Ixnay
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/IxNay|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] Ixnay: ...
Beginning of Fight: The Hat
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/The Hat|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Hat: Impressive. Very impressive.

I don't suppose you would be interested in a position with my organization?

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/The Hat|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Hat: I thought not. Ah well...

You will find I am something of a "hands-on" boss.

[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/The Hat|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Hat: And I am going to put some hands-on my underlings after I deal with you myself.
End of Fight: The Hat
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Oh, Really?|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Hat: Everything went according to plan.
[[Image:LoH_Cards_{{#varpull: LoH/cards/Oh, Really?|LoH/Card|image}}|180px|]] The Hat: Distractions within distractions allowed us to finally steal that shipping container from the waterfront.

They will never know what hit them!