LotS/The Story/Puny Human Birthdays II/BarracudasBirthdaySong

I was sitting in the bar, smashed right off my head,
Wondering where the creds'd gone, wishing I was dead,
Felt like I'd bashed my skull and knocked out half my brain,
Or snorted a Sussurra like he was cocaine.
That's when he walked over, wearing a cheap blue suit,
Thought he was some douchebag pimp looking to recruit.

Soon as he sat down, he acted like a tosser,
Pulled his gun and said, "I'm from Drekchester, prosser."
He worked for 'Blood and Guts' Lars, leader of Green Gash,
Lars wanted Barracuda for his birthday bash.
If I went along I'd be swimming deep in creds,
If I didn't, they'd go and cut my face to shreds.

So we went to his ship and flew off to the bash,
Better than them finding me cut up in the trash.
He took me to this club with needles on the floor,
The kind of place they stab you right inside the door.
I jumped up on the stage, ready to start my song,
Then old Lars barged over and said that I was wrong.

He liked Black Barracuda, not this Screaming lass,
So took a knife and shoved it right in blue suit's ass.
Then he looked at me, said he'd have them break my back,
Unless I did the job as good as Barra Black.
Well happy goddamn birthday, Lars you douchebag prat,
Wasn't going to let him get away with that.

I slipped in both my earplugs, shut the noise right out,
Then turned up Wailing Doom and let my lady shout.
The tossers started screaming, then they ran amok,
Lars dashed into the street, got run down by a truck.
Not my finest gig, the reviews were really bad,
But they weren't the worst Barracuda's ever had.