Editing LotS/The Story/Puny Human Birthdays II/BarracudasBirthdaySong

I was sitting in the bar, smashed right off my head,<br>
Wondering where the creds'd gone, wishing I was dead,<br>
Felt like I'd bashed my skull and knocked out half my brain,<br>
Or snorted a Sussurra like he was cocaine.<br>
That's when he walked over, wearing a cheap blue suit,<br>
Thought he was some douchebag pimp looking to recruit.<br>
<br>
Soon as he sat down, he acted like a tosser,<br>
Pulled his gun and said, "I'm from Drekchester, prosser."<br>
He worked for 'Blood and Guts' Lars, leader of Green Gash,<br>
Lars wanted Barracuda for his birthday bash.<br>
If I went along I'd be swimming deep in creds,<br>
If I didn't, they'd go and cut my face to shreds.<br>
<br>
So we went to his ship and flew off to the bash,<br>
Better than them finding me cut up in the trash.<br>
He took me to this club with needles on the floor,<br>
The kind of place they stab you right inside the door.<br>
I jumped up on the stage, ready to start my song,<br>
Then old Lars barged over and said that I was wrong.<br>
<br>
He liked Black Barracuda, not this Screaming lass,<br>
So took a knife and shoved it right in blue suit's ass.<br>
Then he looked at me, said he'd have them break my back,<br>
Unless I did the job as good as Barra Black.<br>
Well happy goddamn birthday, Lars you douchebag prat,<br>
Wasn't going to let him get away with that.<br>
<br>
I slipped in both my earplugs, shut the noise right out,<br>
Then turned up Wailing Doom and let my lady shout.<br>
The tossers started screaming, then they ran amok,<br>
Lars dashed into the street, got run down by a truck.<br>
Not my finest gig, the reviews were really bad,<br>
But they weren't the worst Barracuda's ever had.