Editing LotS/Anniversary Item 5

{{LotS Item
|name=Anniversary Item 5
|color=Orange
|attack=
|defense=
|type=Experiment Item
|ability=
|text=Eju vsm#y upi nsdystfd ,slr upit dyi[of [tpfivy eptl? Ejsy? O vsm#y rbrm imfrtdysmf upi! Eju fof upit vp,[smu [iy yjrot fs,m vs;; vrmyrt pm {;iyp smuesu? Yp jr;; eoyj yjod -- O#;; drmf upit npddrd s etoyyrm vp,[;somy. Ejsy#d yjr sfftrdd? 6yj[stsmpos~h,so;/vp,? Yjsy fprdm#y rbrm ,slr drmdr! Mp pmr#d idrf yjsy fp,som gpt vrmyitord! Nsj! O#;; eptl oy piy. Kidy yr;; upit npddrd yp esyvj piy gpt ,u ,rddshr. O#;; ,stl oy eoyj yjr ms,r pg yjr [tpfivy. Eptdy [orvr pg jrsferst O rbrt [itvjsdrf. Upit sf [tp,odrf ,r yjsy mp pmr epi;f nr sn;r yp trsf ,u yjpihjyd -- niy yjsy [it[;r [rmhiom pbrt yjrtr od trsfomh yjr, tohjy mpe!

Translation: "Why can’t you bastards make your stupid product work? What? I can’t even understand you! Why did your company put their damn call center on Pluto anyway? To hell with this –- I’ll send your bosses a written complaint. What’s the address? 5thparanoia@gmail.com? That doesn't even make sense! No one’s used that domain for centuries! Bah! I’ll work it out. Just tell your bosses to watch out for my message. I’ll mark it with the name of the product. Worst piece of headwear I ever purchased. Your ad promised me that no one would be able to read my thoughts -– but that purple penguin over there is reading them right now!"

Email Response to title 'tinfoil hat' sent to 5thparanoia@gmail.com:<br>
"Wretched human! You dare question our magnificent merchandise -- the product of our superior engineering? Prepare to be destroyed!

One of our death squads is on its way to your hovel -- puny human slaves made marginally less puny by the mighty weapons and helmets we have given them.

Do not imagine that cowering behind your strangely hued lover with save you, for the team is being led by a femme fatale of our own!

Yours Sincerely,

Ralp Sek Bul<br>
CEO of 5th Paranoia<br>
'5th Paranoia: Because you know they're watching you.'"
|obtained={{LotS/HuntLink|Anniversary Item 5}}
|used={{LotS/Labex|dragoncycle}}
}}

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