|Main Hand | Off Hand | Helmet | Chest | Gloves | Pants | Boots | Trinkets | Utilities | Fusion|
|Tactics | Consumables | Ships | Officers | Crew | Sidekicks | Engineering | Best Items | Home|
|Dr. Elf: Chance for bonus damage (10% @ 358,750); additional damage against Male and Female raids (789,250); Melanie Whitehead dislikes Unwanted Festive Gift and will throw one for additional damage (+287k)|
|"You may have won this round, <Player>, but ELVES will rise again... Oh, who am I kidding? We suck. We'll never overthrow the Santocracy. It's going to be another red Christmas."
"Hey... I'll probably get fired for this stunt. Don't suppose you have any jobs I could fill? I have a PhD in English literature!"
|Proc Damage (minimum)
|Proc Damage (cap)
Unique: You can only own one copy of this Officer.