LoH/story/Hat's All, Folks!

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Beginning of Issue
LoH Cards 98 endure.jpg Moxie: Thank heavens you are here.

We need every able body. There are buildings burning everywhere.

LoH Cards 98 endure.jpg Moxie: Put out as many fires as you can...

And put down whoever is behind this mayhem!

It's No Slouch[edit]

Beginning of Area: It's No Slouch
LoH Cards 253 masked thugs.jpg Moxie: Remember that lesson I taught you about striking a cinder block?

Keep that fresh in your mind if you see any looters!

Beginning of Fight: Masked Thugs
LoH Cards 253 masked thugs.jpg Masked Thug: I'm telling you, while everyone is playing fireman the city is ripe for the ...

...I can never catch a break, can I?

Beginning of Fight: Kindlings (1)
LoH Cards 208 mixology.jpg Kindling: Who doesn't like a nice cocktail at a BBQ?
Beginning of Fight: Kindlings (2)
LoH Cards 236 splash damage.jpg Kindling: I really love what I have done with this place!
Beginning of Fight: Arsonists
LoH Cards 251 kindling.jpg Arsonist: So this is the teacher's pet who has been ruining all our work!
LoH Cards 251 kindling.jpg Arsonist: Guess we are gonna have to start all over again!

Bald Arsonist: Once we are done taking care of you!

Ushanka, I Thank Ya'[edit]

Beginning of Fight: Sunderlings
LoH Cards 256 sunderlings.jpg Sunderling: Don't you have fires that need putting out? Cuz I know there are banks that need robbing.
LoH Cards 256 sunderlings.jpg Sunderling: And it would save us a lot of time if we could get on with that...

Instead of hanging around here kicking your butt!

Beginning of Fight: Kindlings
LoH Cards 211 black smoke.jpg Kindling: *cough*cough*cough*
Beginning of Fight: Arsonists (1)
LoH Cards 251 kindling.jpg Arsonist: You know that we are not going to run out of gasoline anytime soon...

Bald Arsonist: How long can you keep going?

Beginning of Fight: Arsonists (2)
LoH Cards 251 kindling.jpg Female Arsonist: Psss! I am actually running a little low on gasoline.

Bald Arsonist: Let's take care of him this time so the boss doesn't have to.

Beginning of Fight: Firerazer
LoH Cards 247 firerazer.jpg Firerazer: So you are the squirt that has been putting out my fires.

We know you can handle my henchmen...

LoH Cards 247 firerazer.jpg Firerazer: Now let's see how you fare against The Fire Razer!

They Tuque It[edit]

Beginning of Fight: Sunderlings (1)
LoH Cards 256 sunderlings.jpg Sunderling: Someone can't take a hint...

Other Sunderling: ...or a beating!

Beginning of Fight: Arsonists
LoH Cards 251 kindling.jpg Female Arsonist: We just want to make some pretty fires...

Arsonist: What's so wrong with that?

Beginning of Fight: Sunderlings (2)
LoH Cards 256 sunderlings.jpg Sunderling: Aren't these emergent types supposed to be busy putting out fire?

Other Sunderling: The boss ain't gonna be happy.

Beginning of Fight: Sunder
LoH Cards 240 what we need is a distraction.jpg Sunder: There are too many Phaeton students running around today...

I guess Fire Razer could not distract all of you.

LoH Cards 240 what we need is a distraction.jpg Sunder: Sunder can rip through a bank vault with these bare hands.

What do you think I will do to you?

Sugary Balaclava[edit]

Beginning of Area: Sugary Balaclava
LoH Cards 55 finishing blow.jpg Moxie: It looks like we have finally made a dent in this mess.

We are trying to apprehend IxNay... a deadly criminal mastermind.

LoH Cards 219 h .jpg Moxie: He was once The Abyss' most promising acolyte.

Nobody knows why he turned to a life of crime.

LoH Cards 55 finishing blow.jpg Moxie: He lives in total sensory deprivation and has not uttered a word since leaving the school.

So we may never know what happened.

Beginning of Fight: Masked Thugs (1)
LoH Cards 253 masked thugs.jpg Masked Thug: You have made a lot of powerful enemies today!
Beginning of Fight: Masked Thugs (2)
LoH Cards 253 masked thugs.jpg Masked Thug: There is a sweet bonus for anyone who brings you down today.
Beginning of Fight: Masked Thugs (3)
LoH Cards 253 masked thugs.jpg Masked Thug: I have no interest in losing out on another bonus to IxNay!
Beginning of Fight: Ixnay
LoH Cards 250 ixnay.jpg Ixnay: ...

Oh My Cordobes![edit]

Beginning of Fight: Crime Blotter
LoH Cards 39 rise up.jpg The Crime Blotter: You just made the front page of The Crime Blotter.
End of Fight: Crime Blotter
LoH Cards 194 the crime blotter.jpg The Crime Blotter: I guess I had a bad lead, sorry.

I should have recognized you as a member of The Phaeton Project.

LoH Cards 194 the crime blotter.jpg The Crime Blotter: I am the Crime Blotter. I have been patrolling Guttertown since my days with The Upstarts.

And I can tell you that IxNay is not to the top of the food chain.

LoH Cards 220 puppet master.jpg The Crime Blotter: Still chasing down leads but there is someone new running things around here.

Someone they call The Hat!

Beginning of Fight: Firerazer
LoH Cards 247 firerazer.jpg Firerazer: You are not fighting henchmen anymore.

Strictly end bosses from here on out!

Beginning of Fight: Sunder
LoH Cards 255 sunder.jpg Sunder: You have cost me a lot of cash today!

I am going to get my money's worth out of the beating you have coming to you!

Beginning of Fight: Ixnay
LoH Cards 250 ixnay.jpg Ixnay: ...
Beginning of Fight: The Hat
LoH Cards 257 the hat.jpg The Hat: Impressive. Very impressive.

I don't suppose you would be interested in a position with my organization?

LoH Cards 257 the hat.jpg The Hat: I thought not. Ah well...

You will find I am something of a "hands-on" boss.

LoH Cards 257 the hat.jpg The Hat: And I am going to put some hands-on my underlings after I deal with you myself.
End of Fight: The Hat
LoH Cards 241 oh really.jpg The Hat: Everything went according to plan.
LoH Cards 241 oh really.jpg The Hat: Distractions within distractions allowed us to finally steal that shipping container from the waterfront.

They will never know what hit them!